Perfectionism: A Look Behind the Mask

By DarceyAnn Rosario

Let's see what the Bible says about being perfect.

“Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48 NIV)

In all honesty, I initially struggled with this scripture. The call to be perfect is overwhelming. However, this verse should actually provide a sense of relief. Taken in context, this verse is a part of the Sermon on the Mount and it is in this famous sermon that Jesus iterates an elevated version of the Law; one that is impossible for us in our carnality to adhere to. But that is the whole point.

The way the Sermon on the Mount and especially this verse in particular encourages such a high standard forces us to acknowledge the human condition of imperfection. An appropriate response to this call is to embrace our imperfections and seek He who is perfect to refine us every day. It is a call to grow in love and righteousness and to embark on a journey to become more like God in the way we act and respond to the world around us.

“…for everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet, God in His grace, freely makes us right in His sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when He freed us from the penalty for our sins.”  (Romans 3: 23 NLT)

I’ve often asked the Lord, "Where has perfectionism rooted itself in my life?" In all honesty, for many years I was in denial of the spirit of perfectionism in my life by hiding behind my desire for excellence. There is nothing wrong with excellence but it becomes a problem when you become consumed by it and you desire the approval of others more than the Lord. I desired approval and acceptance from the people around me—immediate family, extended family, friends and even strangers. I would hide behind a mask to have the outward appearance that my life was put together and everything was always fine.

Not only did I struggle with perfectionism but I would also project the spirit of perfectionism onto other people. It has caused conflict and has strained key relationships in my life. Having high expectations for myself, I unconsciously placed these same high expectations on others, which led to frustration and disappointment when those expectations weren’t met. I praise God for His grace and for breaking me free from the bondage of validation from the world and what is considered to be acceptable to man. 

God loves me in my imperfections. The striving can finally come to an end as I become more aware of God’s never-ending grace. God accepts us in our imperfection because it is by His grace, through Christ's sacrifice on the cross and the power of the Holy Spirit, that we can be made right in His sight, perfected by Him and for His glory. 

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 (NLT)