The Victim Spirit: More Than Conquerors

By Giscelle Rosario

Hello everyone! I hope you are all enjoying our series on these seven spirits sent to sever families. So far, we have covered:

The Spirit of Pride

The Spirit of Anger

The Spirit of Perfectionism

The Spirit of Deception 

The Spirit of Lust

 And today I have the fun task of talking about the Victim Spirit or the spirit of Victimhood. (Yippee!!) 

I feel like a lot of us tend to believe that we don’t have a victim spirit. I’m not a victim. I know I am more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:37). But how many of us know that our head knowledge does not always translate into our actions; there are many truths that we know that we don’t actually live out. It’s very easy for the victim spirit to creep its way into our lives and for the enemy to use this sense of victimhood to drive a wedge between us and our loved ones. 

What exactly is a victim spirit? Well according to google, a victim spirit is...

a pattern of thinking and behaving that involves blaming others for one's problems and feeling helpless or powerless in the face of life's challenges.

In my mind, this victim spirit is twofold and can be manifested as a victim spirit of the present and a victim spirit of the past. There’s a lot to unpack here so let’s get into it.

Victim Spirit of the Present

A person who is living with a victim spirit of the present is a lonely one. They are constantly thinking they are alone in their efforts and their struggles; that there is no one who will come to their aid or provide any sense of relief or assistance. If you have a victim spirit, you might say, “No one helps me in this house” or “why do I always have to pick up the slack? It seems like I’m the only one who takes care of things.” This is someone in the family who thinks they carry the most burden and that their efforts are unseen. They are constantly pointing fingers and placing blame. What’s more, they feel their situation is unjust. They desire vindication and yet have no hope that anything will ever change.

Victim Spirit of the Past

Beyond household chores and day to day challenges, the victim spirit can also extend to different struggles that we have faced in our past. This kind of victim spirit might sound like this: “It’s my parents fault I am the way that I am” or “No one understands how hard I had it.” A person with a victim spirit only sees their struggle and believes that others are to blame for it all. Not only that, they are content to hold on to their trauma until someone else acknowledges them. 

You might find that you have thoughts like these from time to time which is natural. We are all human after all. But when these thoughts are regularly occurring and you experience this same pattern of thinking on a regular basis, then it’s possible you struggle with a victim spirit. 

Overcoming a Victim Spirit

Someone with a victim spirit feels helpless or powerless in the face of life’s challenges. At the heart of this is an identity issue. Let’s go back to Romans 8:37. Paul says in his letter to the Romans, “No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us” (NLT). This means that no matter how broken your situation is, no matter how helpless it seems, no matter how alone you feel, you are more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus. What exactly does that look like? Well, to answer that let’s look to the words of the apostle John where he said, ““For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith” (1 John 5:4). Our faith in Christ is what gives us victory. Plain and simple. 

Now don’t hear what I’m not saying. I am not trying to patronize you. I am not trying to minimize the struggles that you have faced in your upbringing or in your family life. I am certainly not telling you to brush your problems under the rug and pretend like everything is okay.

To overcome a victim spirit, you cannot allow yourself to be bogged down by the struggles you face. It’s okay to acknowledge these struggles. It’s only natural to desire validation. But simply acknowledging the struggle won’t be enough. It’s healthy to confront your family members in love if they’ve hurt you or you feel as though they don’t help you. But if you want to be free from a victim spirit, it is even more important to remember where your help comes from. It comes from the Lord (Psalm 121:2). No matter what you have been through, the bible tells us we ought to live from a place of victory not victimhood because of who we are in Christ. Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come” (ESV). This means that everything we experienced in our past, every hurt and all of the trauma that we carry, is no longer part of who we are as new creations. We no longer need to live as victims of our past or our present circumstances but as victors in Jesus. 

Let’s Make it Personal

As I entered into adulthood, I spent a lot of time reflecting on my past; the things that I experienced as a child and the decisions that were made by me or the people around me that led to less than ideal situations. I have found that it is a common practice among people my age to do “shadow work”. That is to say, we think back on our past, psychoanalyzing ourselves and uncovering which of our traumatic experiences have led us to be the people we are today in the hopes of realizing who we truly are. The problem is that most people stop when they’ve dug up all the junk. They identify the problem but they don't seek out a solution. They dig up all of their dirty laundry and let it sit and fester rather than dealing with it, cleaning it out and filling it with something light; something pure. What does dealing with it look like? As I mentioned earlier, it's about confrontation in love and it’s leaving it at the foot of the cross. Let go and let God, as they say. 

I could easily sit here and trauma dump to you about how growing up I felt ignored and borderline emotionally neglected; how I became independent, not out of a naturally strong personality but out of necessity; how I felt trapped in the shadow of my older siblings; how the discipline I experienced at 7 could be classified as physical abuse. I’ll spare you the details for now and maybe in the future God will tell me it’s time to share those parts of my life. 

The point is, I can choose whether or not I am going to identify with my struggle or identify with Christ. All of us have experienced darkness. We have all felt immense pain. We have been beaten and abandoned; broken and bruised. We won’t heal from pretending like it didn’t happen or isn’t currently happening. But we also won’t heal by reopening our wounds in the hopes that someone will validate our pain. What we can do is this: we make our struggles known to the people that love us and in humility ask them for help. We pray, and we give it to God, and we have faith that He will handle all the rest. 

"Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." (Psalm 55:22 NASB)